whats more satisfying?

i haven't been running or playing that well so far in feb. i've had moments of genius followed by bigger moments of stupidity leaving me behind rather then significantly ahead. the times i've been ahead its business as usual but when i'm behind there seems to be something strangely satisfying about it!

little crazy sounding but when i'm winning, i'm just winning. i don't impose any stop win system, i just play till i start to feel like i'm losing concentration and then i'll log off and chill out a bit. however when i'm stuck everything seems to become clear. if i'm far behind then i'll usually write the session off and focus on one single goal, and thats to get unstuck. as soon as i hit the green, whether it be as little as 10 cents i'll usually log off and feel extremely satisfied with myself. i feel like i've achieved something that having a winning session doesn't really give me. i feel like i've climbed out of a hole and played good solid poker to do so, as usually its loose wayward play that has got me in that situation in the first place.

i don't think its just me that feels this way, i think its universal. i think getting unstuck is a poker players mount everest, its never easy and requires real concentration, effort and self restraint, its a grind if you will. but when achieved it really is like conquering a nemesis.

so to me, getting unstuck is actually more satisfying then booking a straight forward winning session. i feel like i've saved myself and what ever the win is, no matter how small, feels like a resounding victory.

so here's to getting yourself stuck just to have the pleasure of unsticking yourself!